


Free Falling

by Psychlinite



Series: Half Past Four [3]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Acting, Episode: s04e16 Mr. Yin Presents..., F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Plot twist?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29184351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychlinite/pseuds/Psychlinite
Summary: I try to take a deep breath to calm my nerves, but as soon as I close my eyes, I feel my body falling forward, plummeting towards the ground and to my death. My heart shoots lightning across my chest and out my fingers and toes.She is tied to the clock tower, looking out over the city.*My first original work on here!
Relationships: Burton "Gus" Guster & Juliet O'Hara, Carlton Lassiter & Juliet O'Hara, Juliet O'Hara & Shawn Spencer
Series: Half Past Four [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102175
Kudos: 2





	Free Falling

**Author's Note:**

> I have watched Mr. Yin presents (more specifically the end of Mr. Yin Presents) about a million times, and after watching the cast's commentary on the episode, I realized there was one very important perspective that was there that night who I hadn't thought about...

DING!

My phone rings on the coffee table in front of me and I flip it over to see a text from Tim.

_Did you piss off James?_

_What?_ I text him back immediately. I look across the room where James is sitting at the kitchen table in our Vancouver apartment that we rent every year when we are up here filming. He is typing furiously on his computer before momentarily pausing, putting his fingers to his temple, chuckling to himself, and continuing typing.

I love acting and I like writing, but I will never understand how James can be so _good_ at writing. Most of my favorite episodes that we have done on the show were ones that he wrote.

_Just got the new Yang script. Check page 43._

I jump off the couch and rummage through some mail and old scripts that are piled up on the kitchen island. One of the envelopes is unopened and I tare the seal off to pull out a new script, not yet tattered and marked up like my old ones become by the end of the week.

Episode 63

Mr. Yin Presents…

Written by James Roday & Andy Berman

Directed by James Roday

Mr. Yin Present? ...? So I guess we're getting a new character. 

I knew that James has been talking about giving Yang a partner since he started working on the Yang episode. He had even been talking about making it Mary for a while. But why the ...?

I flip to page 43. 

SHAWN

(urgently)

WHAT IS THE CLUE? WHAT'S THE CLUE?

JULIET

SHAWN. I'LL DROP BY, HALF PAST FOUR. MY HANDS ARE ON MY FACE.

PLEASE COME QUICK OR THIS COULD GET MESSY. SHAWN YOU CAN STILL SAVE ABIGAIL.

The phone call ends abruptly. Cut to Juliet tied to a chair. Yin walks back over railing. Burns clue on wire tied to the chair. Pan out to see the clock tower behind her. 

Woah. That's gonna be so cool.

I can already picture Maja, my stunt double, strapped to the chair on the other side of the railing. It's going to be an amazing shot.

"You're tying me to a clock tower?" I ask James, pulling his attention from his computer screen. 

"You liked that?" he asks wiggling his eyebrows at me. His eyes are filled with the mischievous excitement he gets when he can already see in his head how something is going to be filmed.

"Where are we filming it?"

"You know that giant clock tower on Granville Street? On top of that building?"

Uh, I know the one. It's like 15 stories tall. "Yeah."

"Yeah. You'll be up there"

My mind stops and I blink at him for a moment, hoping I misheard him. 

"I'm sorry. You're going to put _me_ up there?"

"Yeah! It will look incredible. You'll be tied into a harness and there's going to be a platform below you. Trust me Mags, it will be perfect."

"But... what?" I try to protest by my brain can't even form words correctly. "Why?"

"Well Yin is going to take Juliet and then Abigail is coming home from Uganda that night..." he proceeds to explain the plot to me, moving his hands exaggeratedly for emphasis. "And then we'll have Rachael tied under the pier..."

"Why can't I be under the pier?"

_Low to the ground._

"Because Abigail has to be there because that's where Shawn stood her up on their first date, but he shows up this time. And you are on the clock tower and Lassiter comes to save you. It will be a perfect moment between partners. Just wait- it will be amazing."

"I still don't understand why _I_ have to be on top of a clock tower."

"It has to be you! It will look so good and we'll be able to get all these incredible close-ups. If Maja does it, we have to use wide's and back shots so you can't tell it's her."

"But..." I shake my head at him, still not believing that he is actually serious about strapping me to the _top of a clock tower_. "I'm afraid of heights! You know that!"

"Moogs," he says, standing up and wrapping his arms over my shoulders. I sigh at the sound of his nickname that only he calls me, letting him rub the stress off my back. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"I would never let anything happen to you. We'll all be right there. You will be ok the whole time."

I close my eyes, breathing softly against my boyfriend's chest as he holds me. I may trust him, but that doesn't mean that I'm particularly happy with him right now. 

\---

Filming the season finale has gone well so far. It's a hard episode to film. There are a lot of shots and a lot of running. Which for me, thanks to the fact that I am six inches to a foot shorter than everyone else in the cast, means running up and down stairs and through a field in heels. At least they found semi-practical ones for me to wear for the "running through the field" scene. Which is good because as present as I want to be right now, my mind is about two miles away and 400 feet in the air, where I'm about to be tonight.

After we film in the field, we make our way to the clock tower. It is almost golden hour, so we set up to film the "morning after" scene first. I was excited for the scene when I first heard it at the table read because it shows just how close mine and Tim's characters have become, but I can't think about that right now. My brain is hyper-focused on how high the elevator is climbing.

Tim is next to me, quietly tapping on his phone screen. I watch as the numbers tick past with each passing floor and we go up and up and up. With each ding, my heart is beating faster and faster.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Tim breaks the silence.

"What are you going to do, Mags?"

I shake my head and smile, reluctantly finishing our ritual that we have been doing since day one, scene one, take one. It wouldn't be a scene with Tim without it.

"I'm gonna act the _shit_ out of it." 

I look over at him and see him smiling proudly at me. I roll my eyes. "What are you going to do Tim?"

"I'm gonna act the _shit_ out of it, Maggie."

Right on cue, the elevator stops and we are at the top floor of the building. James meets us at the bottom of the steps leading up to the clock tower. He immediately grabs my hand and squeezes it. He's been here since earlier helping get the shots set up with our stand-ins. 

"C'mon! It's beautiful up here." He pulls my hand up a short staircase to the inside of the clock. It looks massive from behind. I still can't believe I'm up here.

Leading me around the corner, he pushes open a door to reveal the Vancouver skyline. It is beautiful, but I'm distracted by the railing where I will be on the _wrong side of_ in just a few hours.

Tim is behind me, and I can feel his hands run over my shoulders, which unbeknownst to me have tensed up to my ears. 

"Do you want some vodka?" Tim whispers in my ear. "I brought some for you, just in case."

"Nope. I'm good." I know my voice doesn't sound very convincing, but I figure the more I tell myself that I’m good the more it will become the truth.

Twenty minutes later, the sun has fallen to light up the city fifty shades of gold and Tim and I are in place with a local actor dressed as the paramedic coming to check on Juliet. 

James comes over, giving us directions, but my heartbeat is pounding so loudly in my ears I can barely hear a word he is saying. I place my hands on my hips, closing my eyes to take a few deep breaths.

 _You’re ok. It’s ok._ I repeatedly remind myself with each exhale. _It’ll be over soon._

There is a loudspeaker set up behind the camera, and James moves to the director’s chair, flipping on his phone and pressing play on a song.

_Well I'd like to think I'm the mess you'd wear with pride..._

The music is haunting as it fills the slightly chilled air.

"And action!" James says.

The "paramedic" walks over to me, tells me that he needs to check me out. I tell him that I'm fine, eventually yelling and putting my hands out in front of me to get him away from me. When Tim comes over, I tell Lassiter that Juliet is fine, completely and totally fine, until he puts his hand on her arm. 

Tim catches me off guard, though. His eyes meet mine and he calls me Juliet, telling me that I don't have to be fine. Lassiter had never called me _Juliet_ before.

Crying on camera has never been difficult for me. I have had the fake sobs down since I was twelve. But right now, crying comes easier than it ever has for me in any other TV moment I've ever been a part of. 

Between the trauma of this moment for Juliet, the tremendous step this is for her and Lassiter, and the fact that I'm still 400 feet in the air about to be dangled over the railing in less than an hour, collapsing into Tim's arms while he wraps me up in a hug, his chest rattling with a comforting hum, comes incredibly easy. 

My knees buckle and I start to fall, Tim adjusting to keep my weight up. We stay there for a minute. Me crying, him telling me that it's ok. The song fades out and the air is quiet for a moment. 

"Cut!" James yells, and I can hear everyone around me collectively exhale. 

"You ok?" he asks, running over with a bottle of water. I wipe my eyes and take a few breaths. 

"That was amazing." His hand is on my back, trying to calm my nerves. I hate being up this high. I don't feel like I can breathe up here. The air literally feels thinner.

We do the scene two more times- James the perfectionist needing to make sure he has exactly what he needs for the final shot. 

Once he is finally satisfied with the footage, Tim and I go back inside the clock tower on some chairs that they set up for us, going over the next scene and getting into my wardrobe and makeup while James helps the camera crew and set design get everything exactly the way he envisioned it for the big rescue scenes.

Tim tries to make small talk while tapping messages out to his wife, but I'm more focused on suppressing the nervous shaking in my legs that stings my calves and crawls down into my toes.

"Mags," James says, walking into the back room entirely too soon. He is bouncing on his toes and I know that for as miserable as I am, he is twice as excited to be shooting this. This Yin/Yang saga is his baby, and I don’t want to ruin this for him.` "We're ready for you."

I let out a breath and follow him out of the door onto the roof again. It looks completely different than it did before. The roof has been cleared of equipment and massive lights and cameras have been Jerry-rigged around the platform.

Eagerly holding my hand, he leads me towards the edge so I can see the fancy set up they have created for me. "Don't worry. We put a platform under it with a mat. And you're not going to fall anyways so it's completely fine."

I slowly walk towards the edge of the roof where the chair is waiting for me. I carefully look over the edge, still anxious to get too close. James is holding my hand, letting me squeeze it tighter and tighter as a look down.

When I see the magical platform that is going to save my life if I fall, I start laughing. "Are you kidding? I did gymnastics when I was four on mats better than that one! It's like three feet by three feet and two stories down! I wouldn't even hit it if I fall!"

"Hey, hey hey hey," James says, putting his hands on my shoulders and rubbing my arms. "Do you trust me?"

I look up despite myself and let out an anxious yell. He laughs and waits for me to look at him again.

"I hate you so much right now."

"But do you trust me?" he smiles at me.

"Yes," I say begrudgingly, crossing my arms.

"Alright. Let's get you all anchored in."

I take a seat on the chair and let people work around me. The stunt team helps me into a thick harness under my shirt, then secure me to the back of the chair. Next, they help me put on my turtleneck, which is exactly what you want to be wearing when tied to the edge of a building. The tight fabric on my neck really helps sell the feeling that I'm about to die. Next goes on the suit jacket, and finally, they begin tying me into place with ropes.

"You just let me know if we're tying the ropes too tight, Ms. Lawson."

"Nope!" I say to Dan, the stunt coordinator. "You can even go tighter if you'd like."

"You'll be fine," James whispers over my shoulder. "We're all right here."

My entire stomach and arms are soon wrapped tightly, though still not as tightly as I would have liked, with thick white rope.

"Alright, let's get her over the edge."

I know that there are ropes tying me to everything in sight. I know that I'm not going anywhere.

But holy shit I'm high right now!

The chair, with me in it, gets lifted onto the other side of the railing and before I know it, I'm dangling off the front of the freaking clock tower. My heart starts beating so quickly I'm certain any boom within three feet of me will pick it up. Why couldn't Kim Novak have jumped off a trampoline? Into a deep pool? Or one of those foam pits I used to jump in when I did gymnastics? Why'd she have to jump off a freaking clock tower?

I feel James behind me, never letting go of my shoulders. "You're amazing!" he keeps whispering in my ear. "It will look so good! It will all be worth it! Just you wait."

Maja is there on standby already wearing a matching outfit to my own, just in case I can't do it. But at this point, I'm already strapped in. What could go wrong now?

They switch out my Ugg's that I wear whenever I'm on set not filming and replace them with my high heels before wrapping my feet to the base of the chair with the rope. Finally, they add a thick black cloth around my neck that will be over my mouth very soon.

And then they tip the chair forward and pull it into place. And I feel like the whole world might just start spinning. It feels like being trapped in that moment on a roller coaster right before the big fall. Except I'm just suspended there. My heart beating so rapidly I can barely hear James calling out instructions. My shaking breaths pull aggressively at my lungs, instinct willing me to hold on tighter as my eyeline traces the space between my feet and solid ground. But solid ground is so far away I literally have to squint to see it.

I am alone up there, hanging high up above everyone else, nothing keeping me connected to solid matter but a wire, holding me onto a small wooden chair.

"Ok, everyone. Let's set up for the first shot." James yells and begins listing off orders to all the different teams, trying to ensure this can be over as quickly as humanly possible. He gives me a quick kiss on the head and everyone except for Tim's stand-in, Chris, who has been dressed up in all black to play Yin, clear out of the shot.

I know they are right there. I know everyone is watching me and making sure I'm not going anywhere. But I feel a hell of a lot less secure when they aren't actually there, holding onto me, reminding me that I'm not going anywhere.

The first shot is easy. Chris stands over my shoulder, holding a piece of paper. I have to read the clue. Simple. I just have to 'sound scared,' according to James.

Yeah, ok, honey. I'll see if I can pretend to sound scared right now.

My voice shakes without me even having to try.

We do the take a couple more times from a few different angles before James finally yells cut. Chris takes off his mask and gives me a pat on the back. "Good luck," he says as he goes.

I am starting to feel a little lightheaded. Between getting set in place and setting up the shot with me in the chair, I've already been up here for over an hour. I try to take a deep breath to calm my nerves, but as soon as I close my eyes, I feel my body falling forward, plummeting towards the ground and to my death. My heart shoots lightning across my chest and out my fingers and toes.

I snap my eyes open again, sucking in my breath. My chest tingles and my head spins. It physically hurts to breathe. But I'm still on the chair, tied to the railing. I'm still fine.

Yet the dizzy feeling won’t seem to go away.

 _Pull it together, Maggie._ I remind myself, looking around to see if anyone is watching me internally begin to panic. I am an actress. This is what I signed up to do- run around in heels for sixteen-hour days, shoot summer scenes in skirts in the middle of winter, and now, apparently get suspended off a building- suffer for my art. But even if I love what I do and feel so lucky most of the time, it doesn't make my feet hurt any less or my legs any less cold or my head feel any less dizzy.

James starts instructing the B-roll shots that he is going to use for cut-aways during the rescue sequence. Every so often he will yell instructions to me telling me where to look. The clock is ticking behind me and it takes very little effort to jump every time the loud gears move the hand forward another minute. I know that it may not be counting down the moments until I die, but I still feel plenty stressed.

I look out to the other buildings surrounding the clock tower. It's not too late, and there are still several office buildings with people, most of whom I can feel watching me. I don't blame them. I'd be curious too if I saw a camera crew dangling some woman off a building. I can't even imagine what this looks like to someone who doesn't know what's happening.

James comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Hey, we're gonna give you a break while we set up the next shot with Tim and Dulé. Sound good?"

I don't even have to answer him. One sideways stare and he gets the message quick enough.

Fifteen minutes later, the chair has been securely placed on the roof and the ropes loosened from around my waist. Even in my Ugg's, I still feel like I might fall over when I stand up out of the chair.

"You're doing great," James whispers to me as I walk back inside, clenching and stretching my knuckles which have become stiff and sore from gripping the edge of the wooden seat so tightly.

My legs feel shaky as I walk inside the clock tower and back to my chair next to Tim.

"How's it going?" Dulé asks from his other side.

I fall back into the soft chair and carefully drop my head into my hands in a failed attempt to keep from messing up my makeup.

"Well, it looks awesome," Tim encourages, reaching out a hand and rubbing my back. His hand squeezes the back of my neck and shoulder as I shake my head, reminding myself that I am on solid ground again, willing my equilibrium to balance itself out.

"It better!" I say into my hands, trying to take as many unrestrained breaths as I can before we have to shoot more.

"You sure you don't want a drink?" Tim asks, motioning to his backpack. "It might make you feel better."

"You're such an enabler," Dulé says, eating his second sandwich since he got to set twenty minutes ago.

I laugh and nod my head towards Dulé. "What he said." I can't say anymore. Because if I say anymore it will come out something along the lines of "give me that drink right now I want to be bloody wasted this is my least favorite thing I've ever shot." So short answers are better.

"Ok," Tim says, putting his hands up defensively. "It's here if you want it."

The door swings open and James rushes to my seat, putting his hands on my knees. "You all ready for your big rescue scene?" he asks, grabbing my hands. He starts to pull me out of the chair to get ready for the next set of scenes with Tim and Dulé, but I can't move. He looks down at my hands which have started shaking before catching my eyes. I start to shake my head, my stomach already dropping to the floor.

"Hey, we'll be right out," James says, nodding for Tim and Dulé to give us a minute alone. I see them disappear out of the corner of my eyes, but I can't take my gaze off the ground.

_Don't ruin this for him._

"Maggie?" he asks, and I can see the serious James come out. Not the silly actor, but the man who loves me and would do anything for me. "What's wrong?"

"I can't get back in that chair."

"What do you mean? You're doing such an amazing job! And it looks so cool! Mags. You should see how cool it looks."

"I-I" my voice shakes. "I feel like I'm falling."

"You're completely safe. You are strapped in so tightly and there are backup wires for the backup wires. You're not going anywhere."

"No. You don't understand," I try to take a deep breath but begin to feel dizzy even with the solid ground underneath me. "Every time I close my eyes," I'm speaking slowly, focusing on my hands in his, "I feel like I'm falling forward."

"You having a little vertigo?" James says, smiling.

"I am going to kill you," I say to him, less than amused.

"I'm sorry." He says, bringing my hands up to his lips and placing soft kisses on my fingers. "What if we have someone standing underneath you? They could hold onto your legs between shots so you won't just feel suspended in midair. Would that help?"

I just shrug and reluctantly let him lead me gently back outside.

Tim and Dulé are waiting for us on the roof when James pulls me through the door and are looking around in amazement.

"Damn, Roday," Dulé said from behind me, clearly more excited about this whole thing than I am. "This looks great!"

If I thought getting into that chair the first time was bad, willing myself to sit back down and get strapped into place is like willingly stepping in front of a firing squad. Because now I know what it feels like. And I know that when I get up there and try to breathe, I'm going to feel like I'm falling. And I know that my whole body will feel sore from clenching every muscle I have in an attempt to stay glued to a chair my rational brain tells me I am securely tied to anyways.

Entirely too soon, the ropes have all been twisted around my waist and legs and the chair is lifted back over the railing and pulled into place. I hold my breath as the chair is tilted forward, jumping as the chair momentarily slips off its mark and bounces off the side of the building before being tightened into place.

And in between shots, Maja and Dan are standing on the platform underneath me, holding my legs. I feel a bit ridiculous that I need them. But focusing on their hands does make it significantly easier to breathe. As longs as I don’t close my eyes, that is.

"Alright, Tim, Dulé, we're going to film your scene now," James yells, giving off more blocking instructions. It is a very technical scene. The clock has to be running at just the right minute during each piece and Gus has to hold the clock hand back. And the camera is on me for basically all of it, but I just sit there looking scared. Got it.

The scenes are filmed in little pieces. Tim and Dulé running onto the roof. Dulé burning his hand on the wire behind me. Dulé holding back the moving hand of the clock, yelling as he pulls with everything Gus has.

I want to close my eyes- it feels natural. But I can only bring myself to keep my eyes closed for a few seconds at a time. Instead, I stare straight ahead, letting this terrible fantasy world exist behind me. I feel like I'm about to start crying and it has very little to do with the emotions of the scene.

 _You're almost done. You're almost done. You're almost done._ I remind myself, over and over again. My eyes sting and I can feel my anxiety collecting in tears, stinging my eyes and threatening to spill over at a moment's notice.

Finally, after another hour and a half of filming, we are on the last scene of the night- the close up when they actually get to save me.

"Action!" James yells from below, and Maja and Dan sit down out of the camera shot.

The clock tower shuts off and I almost immediately feel Tim on my right shoulder, Dulé on my left. Tim pulls the cloth off my face and they both rub my shoulders.

"We've got you," Lassiter says.

"We've got you," Tim says.

I exhale, my head still spinning.

"Cut!" James yells.

"You want that drink now?" Tim whispers in my ear.

I don't even have to think about it this time.

\---

To say I was relieved to be back on the right side of the railing, united from the chair, would be the understatement of the year. 

To say I was relieved to finally be off that clock tower and on the ground in the parking lot would be the understatement of the century.

But to say I was relieved to be in my bed that night, those scenes finally behind me after weighing on my mind all week just might be the understatement of the millennium. 

Except for when I finally closed my eyes to fall asleep. And I feel like I'm falling forward off of the clock tower. Over and over again. 

"Damn it, James." I curse my boyfriend and his "creative vision" under my breath. I'm sure it will look amazing when it all comes together, but that was my least favorite thing that I have ever done for TV.

Instead of sleep, I stay up reading the script for next week's episode. It's called "Think Tank," and according to Steve, it's the make-up episode for how much money we had to spend putting the finale together. But there's less running and less me-being-dangled-off-buildings, so I'm fine with it.

"What are you still doing up?" James says, collapsing next to me on the bed. He had to stay behind to finish filming the scenes with Tim and Dulé, but he said I could leave. Eight hours on top of that roof was plenty for me. 

"Can't sleep." I put the script on the bedside table and move over into my boyfriend's already open arms. I slide next to him, his arms crossing all the way across my chest as he squeezes me as tightly as he can. I sigh and let him kiss my cheek.

"You did amazing today," he whispers, his lips never leaving my skin. 

"I hated that," I exhale, feeling at peace in his arms. 

"I know you did." He holds me tighter, "But you did it and it's done now and it's going to look so good."

"It better."

I close my eyes. Comforted by the solid anchor of his arms, I drift to sleep. 

And only twice do I jolt awake from falling. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you liked it!! I know that this is very different from most other fanfiction, but once I thought of the idea, I couldn't get it out of my head. Please let me know what you think! I was very excited about it, but I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea. Either way I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
